I am 41 years old.

Sometimes I still feel like I am figuring everything out.

My beliefs, opinions, things that I assumed I'd 

already know about myself by now.

Today Roe vs. Wade was overturned 

and I'm having big thoughts.

It makes me wonder why I still don't have

my beliefs cemented down at this age.

I have an education. 

I have time on my own to study.

I have people I trust to discuss with.

But.

I still don't.  

Maybe I'm afraid to say

that I for sure believe this 

one way and that's that.

What if that changes?

What if I just don't like taking

a stance on some things?

Or, what if I don't like

explaining myself and my 

reasons to people?

Do I have to?

Is it okay to just have my 

evolving thoughts, to discuss

when I feel ready to discuss,

and to keep learning at my own pace,

sometimes coming to a conclusion,

and sometimes not?

When another 40 years has gone by,

I wonder,

will I still be like this,

and if so,

will that be okay?